Where are they now: Fairytale Characters

Sometimes when a girl is supposed to be finishing her book, procrastination takes hold and she spends fifteen minutes writing things like this:

Where are they now – Fairytale Characters

Sleeping Beauty

Became addicted to meth due to her desire to stay awake and “reclaim my life”. Currently undergoing rehab at an undisclosed facility.

Cinderella

Involved in lengthy divorce proceedings with Prince Charming citing infidelity as the reason for dissolution of the marriage. The Fairytale Enquirer has reported that the Prince is “charming” quite a number of other princesses and is consequently in violation of the “happily ever after” clause.

The Three Bears

Recently liberated from a Russian circus where they had been imprisoned since being sold by a vengeful Goldilocks.

Goldilocks

On the run from the Three Bears. Witness Protection Programme Codename: Brownilocks.

Alice in Wonderland

It is thought that the pill Alice took to make her smaller was in fact Microdot LSD and she is now in a permanent flashback state and sectioned in a psychiatric facility. Barring another unfortunate incident with a mirror, medical staff expect that she should be able to rejoin society in a few years.

Snow White

Her days as “the fairest of them all” are long since over and she has been campaiging for rights of the vertically challenged for many years with great success.

Pinocchio

Although Pinocchio did eventually become a real live boy, his years as a wooden puppet left deep mental scars. Completely unable to deal with the human aging process, being used to his wooden wrinkle free features, he became an early devotee of Botox. Developing acute Body Dysmorphia, Pinocchio endured many agonising plastic surgery procedures. Unfortunately he is now virtually unrecognisable and as a result has become a recluse, allowing only Gepetto to see him.